My honest, right from my heart, response to the social media upset about the commercial that made people sad during the Super Bowl.

Kids die. Babies die. It sucks, believe me, but it is real. I get so sick of having to guard my grief because it makes other people uncomfortable. I carry my grief around constantly, even during fun times. It doesn’t fade or dim. It doesn’t pick convenient, socially appropriate times and places to show up. It is who I am now, part of me, always.

I’m constantly reminded of things Hope won’t ever get to do, how my body failed her, how I couldn’t keep her safe. Yes, I know…It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. It doesn’t make it any easier.

If that commercial upset you and it is just a commercial to you, then be thankful. If you have children you get to hug and play with and constantly worry about, lucky you. If you had to explain that commercial to your kids and it was a tough conversation, that’s okay. We can all be more careful.

I know my view is forever clouded by loss and longing. I also know that a lot of people have the luxury of having no idea how I feel. It’s okay. Actually, it’s awesome. I’d rather no one ever had to understand the way I have to navigate my life in pieces of before and after, of what if and maybe someday, of then and now.

If that commercial made you sad or angry, it’s okay. You were granted a glimpse inside of someone else’s always. If that’s not your always, you are lucky.

We all need to make safe happen. Maybe we can all make compassion happen, too.